Roosevelt and Stalin Feeding Chickens

This was told to me by my homeroom teacher sometime 1987, Western Ukrainian SSR. His handle, Rat, is likely because he looked like a one-eyed rat: face elongated forward, with a long-healed scar top-down entire left side — always happy to greet people with his steel cold confident demeanor. I respect the man deeply. Rat taught history. The real history, not what the West knows or Soviets prescribed. One day, explaining Soviet cohesion versus Western democracy, he approached class this way:

Figure 1. FDR and J.V. Stalin passing some peer-bonding time together.

 

Roosevelt and Stalin were talking about rallying nations behind a cause (WWII, of course).

Roosevelt: It’s getting difficult to get consensus behind decisive and necessary hard action.
Stalin: It’s never difficult for me — but why would you say that?
Roosevelt: It took my country years to just get on with the 'right thing.' How’s it easy for you?
Stalin: How do you feed your chickens?

Roosevelt: I beg your pardon?!

Stalin: Certainly, you must have chickens, don’t you?
Roosevelt: I have a coop or two. But, why?
Stalin: How do you feed them?

Roosevelt: Well, I get a bucket of grain and toss it around the yard.
Stalin: And how do your chickens treat you?
Roosevelt: There are a few aggressive ones that peck. But generally they ignore me.
Stalin: And that is the root of your problem.

Roosevelt: Okay. …​ And how do you feed your chickens?
Stalin: I get a half-full bucket. I sit on a stool in the middle of my yard, bucket between my feet.
From time to time, I slowly spread a palmful of grain by my feet. And I watch.

Roosevelt: How is that a more efficient method?

Stalin: Efficient? — not what I’m after. Better! They never peck me, only each-other, to get to me.
And I see ALL of them next to me. By the way — how do you snuff one for dinner?
Roosevelt: Oh, that’s a process. Best to get help. Must corner them. Sometimes I go without.
And I take it — you have a way?

Stalin: Certainly! One always gets in my bucket. And I pluck it right there.

Roosevelt: What if none get in your bucket? Do you also go without?
Stalin: Never go without. It’s a matter of flock size. Not a matter of grain.

 

Freedom Isn’t Free! — collector